Over the last few months, I’ve always been thinking about how I have little friends that I actually can go out and just hang out with. For a while, I’ve been brooding over this fact and found myself ever so slightly depressed about it. I’ve known this fact for a long time. When I was in high school, while I am not entirely blaming it on my mother, I hardly got the chance to really hang out with friends outside of school. Now that I’m twenty-one years old, it hits me a little harder than it did back then. Due to the fact that I’m taking online classes, I’m not really getting any success in finding different people. An employee of my mother once told me that if I want to meet new people, then I need to go out. I was baffled by this remark for quite some time. While I do realize that you do need to get out of the house to meet new people, how would I exactly do that? I don’t particularly like crowds so places such as clubs and dances are out of the question. I honestly doubt that I’d be willing to go to a bar by myself (and even if I went with a friend or two, we’d be a bit preoccupied chatting amongst ourselves). With my introverted personality, I have a hard time really “choosing” a friend. While I may be able to talk to others really easily, it’s different when I’m trying to actually make a friend that I could hang out and begin to trust.
It’s because of the fact that there’s so many different ways to communicate when talking to a person face to face, it becomes hard to truly make an accurate analysis of him or her. This is why I’ve become more closer to my online friends than I am with the friends that I have met in person. It’s through the numerous amounts of chats that I’ve begun to really understand the person. The reason is because there are patterns that are easily recognizable (to me at least) that help show you what kind of a person your friend is. I’ve also found that social networks such as Facebook and Google+ helps a little (but not dramatically) into seeing what kind of person your friend is. Just a heads up, for identity reasons, I will only mention them by their usernames or aliases used online if I do mention them.
I have one friend that I have been hanging out with a lot recently. Despite the fact that he lives so far away (approximately 1-2 hours away), he still comes over to my place and just hangs out for a day or two. I would love to go over to his place eventually but I have so much on my mind that I eventually forget to even consider it and I feel terrible about that. After all, I’ve known him for a little over eight years now. There was also a somewhat recent event where I was going through quite a bit and I accidentally exploded on him. The frustration of my mother telling me how to spend my money, my sister telling me how to behave, then him telling me to “chill out” (even though it was directed at both me and my sister), I snapped and bellowed him to shut up. If it weren’t for my short temper, I would never EVER have shouted at him. I really, really treasure my friendship with him and I regretted it the instant I opened my mouth. The thing that bothered me even more was that he was telling me that I should never do that. I understand why he was telling me this and I really do. I’m just really bad at accepting facts that has to do with my bad points. The first few times, I took it in because I know I need to be told these things. After that, I started getting pissed off again. I was being a little brat and I didn’t even say sorry to him after I said a few things to him when he was telling me that I should not do what I did. I mean… I do realize this but for fuck’s sake man. Give me a damn break. I fucking know already. Despite this, he managed to say something about it and it all was forgiven on both sides. I was honestly a little scared during the awkward silence between us two while we were playing video games after that incident. It’s because he’s the only friend that I have who actually lives close to me that I can really just be the stupid me that I really am. With him around, I am just so stupid that… it’s almost refreshing. With him around, I can say everything that’s on my mind of what’s going on. He’s probably one of the few that I will speak of all the burdens that lay on my shoulders. As I’ve said before, I really treasure the friendship that he and I have and I was kind of afraid that it would dissipate from my mistake. I’m just glad that we got over it because he’s one of the only guys that I can say is my best friend. If you’re reading this man, just know this: Thank you for being my friend.
Now in the online world, I didn’t really think much of it at first. Later I found out that sometimes my online friends proved to be more of a friend than the people I’ve met in person. I guess it’s because it’s easier to speak one’s mind through chat than to verbally say it. There are so many friends online that I keep close to me for the relationship I have developed with each of them is precious to me. Missy, BeeDee, Wizzy, DS, Cheekan, Sheep, Rimu (aka Himeneesama), Nightmaren (aka Chii), Draco, Luekion, Kun, Bisu, Yuui, Tai, Hautalken, Serated, Maru, Mikadzuki, Aki, Reneko, Therolyte, Elvin (alas, he never had an online alias LOL), Arifureta… some of these people I keep in touch with and some of them I don’t. Just thinking about it… I really am blessed to have met a lot of these people. They all mean a lot to me just as much as some of my real life friends. Even if I don’t talk to them much anymore, I still treasure all the times that we have had once before. In my opinion, you are what your memories make you out to be. Without them, you’d be nothing but formed dust walking upon the surface of the earth.
Thank you all, for getting to know someone as odd, complicated, and silly as me. I appreciate it more than you can possibly imagine.
I can relate with a lot of your feelings here regarding online friendships. In middle school, I was fortunate enough to be approached by the person who would end up being my best friend of the past eight or so years. He’s the only friend I see regularly since graduating from high school. I’ve made more online friends in these past few years than I’ve made offline friends over the course of my entire life. In some ways, I’d say many of my online friends know me better than my best friend. On the flip side of that same coin, my best friend knows me better in some ways than my online friends ever could, as well. Regardless, I feel as though every friendship I have is real and that every individual I share that friendship with is special.
As for making new friends offline, I struggle with that as well. The few I’ve met since graduating from high school have all been met through my best friend in some way or another. I just don’t get out enough to really make my own friends, so I suppose he shares his with me. However, if you’re willing to abandon your comfort zone and attempt to meet new people, I’d suggest looking into local gaming tournaments. The colleges where I live have them at least once a year. Despite being invited a few times, I’ve never gone. I’m not really that competitive of a gamer, lol. In theory, it shouldn’t be too hard to meet people in such a setting considering you’re there because of a common interest, thus giving you something fairly easy to talk about, no? Just a thought, I guess.
Ah, I think this will be the first time I’ve posted a comment on your blog~ Anyway, like the previous poster, I can relate to many of the things you said as well. I do not have very many (offline) friends myself. The only people I really keep in touch with are a few people from high school. (You’ve met them before as well) and apart from their family and such, that is pretty much the extent of my circle of ‘friends’; including you and Carmen of course! And then of course the handful of online friends that I’ve met throughout the years. It’s rather interesting to think that you started as one! I’m so glad we were able to meet in real life once we found out we lived in the same state, ahaha.
In any case, there is some truth to what you said about having to ‘get out more’ to make or meet new friends. However, if that’s not really the type of thing you like to do, you don’t have to do it. I mean, I don’t exactly like going out to clubs and parties and bars that much either. I’ve mostly met new people through friends of friends. I don’t socialize much at work, but I still was able to make some friends there as well.
The way I see it, quantity doesn’t really matter. Though, I can completely understand wanting to expand your social community and meet new people that you can just hang out and chill with. But being in a situation where it sort of restricts you from interacting much with the outside world (online classes and such), it does make it rather difficult. It can’t really be helped though, can it? Family must understand that.
For those that you have tried to befriend and didn’t give you a chance for what ever reason, they are really missing out; because you are an amazing person/friend! And I really mean that. I know I fail to show my appreciation sometimes or properly express how much your friendship means to me, but I just want to let you know that. Even if we don’t talk as often as before, just remember that I’m super duper glad I met you and became pretty good friends~ You’ve never failed to put a smile on my face and was always there to listen when I needed someone to vent to. You’re amazing and don’t you EVER forget that or have anyone tell you otherwise! And I hope we will be able to stay in touch through the years to come~
Ah, sorta got off-topic (?) Heh. Anyway, those are my two cents (wow, I’m a broke nig)
*respectfully bows*
I’ll be your friend just to get you drunk one night and shave your eye brows off. =3
I kid. No I dont. Anywho, I dont have many if any friends in real life. If it makes you feel better, but the term ‘friend’ doesnt necessarily mean someone who you hang out with on a constant basis and can call up at 3 in the morning for a ride and or bail money.
Simply being friendly towards people is really enough. I go out to play Magic every other Friday I can, and pretty much everybody there knows me by name even though I dont have their numbers, or anything. But I feel among friends because we share an interest in something fun. Hell, even the employees at the shop we play at know me by name.
Dont put so much thought into the ideal concept of a friend; it ruins your self esteem. Same with looking for a girl friend or any other significant person, dont be demanding of yourself or them to live out to the standards you set. Be spontaneous, chat with them, tell a joke, STOP BEING SOCIALLY AWKWARD, or whatever.
Here’s a picture of a cute pony to sheer you up:
[img]http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/51da2c45a63c43d9f9feee9638c03ac5/141503%20-%20C%3A%20cute%20cuteness_overload%20FAIC%20fluttershy%20HNNNNNNNNNNNG%20putting_your_hoof_down%20spoiler.png[/img]
^I approve.
I just want you to know :3 that I am blessed to have you as a friend too.