As it has been revealed to you in the previous posts (and perhaps earlier on a friend’s picture album on Facebook), I crossplayed as a character named Yukiko Amagi from Persona 4. There were several factors that influenced my decision to put on this crossplay. While I will not reveal all of which influenced me, I can at least confess that it was due to numerous pushes from friends of mine.
I will go ahead and write about my thoughts in regards to this experience as I feel it necessary to share what I have discovered.
The Suggestion
The initial suggestion was that of a typical joke and was not meant to be taken on a serious note. After a certain amount of time, the consideration flew through my mind and when I had declared this to my friends, their suggestions grew stronger. After several days of contemplating and reinforcement of the idea, I decided that I would do it.
I am acquainted with a few people who crossdress (or crossplay) or have crossed into the other sex (though do take note that I say acquainted in comparison to that of being friends with). I have no qualms about this and I often congratulate them on their courage for doing so. While there were a few individuals of whom I questioned their logic, I nevertheless respected their opinions and desires.
To be honest, the thought that I would crossdress would have never been a consideration at one point. However as time progressed and as I have matured, I’ve come to understand a bit more about societal acceptance towards these trends and I was (in a sense) curious to its reception. Ergo, my determination to make this a successful crossplay was fortified and I was truly ready to learn what this experience would provide for me.
The Preparation
Initially this cosplay was intended to be revealed in next year’s Sakura-Con. However due to the circumstances, I figured that it would cause no harm if I were to hasten the progress and wear the costume during PAX Prime. Therefore I quickly went ahead to make the purchase of my cosplay so that I would prepare for a complete look and convincing display. Fortunately the frames that I had purchased for my cosplay were something that I actually liked very much and would wore on occasion.
To fulfill this task, I had asked the assistance from my female friends for various tasks. Once a few embarrassing items were purchased, we proceeded onto figuring out what kind of make-up was required in order to make for a convincing crossplay. Once the tools were purchased, I’ve made a few trips to my friend Leah‘s apartment. We also had the assistance of Yuuiki (who’s become very experienced in cosplaying now).
There were a few things that we simply could not do (such as conceal my eyebrows for they were too thick and strong to do so), though we compensated for what we could not do and tried our best (though it was mainly the girls that did the work: Leah, Carmen and Yuuiki).
The Final Phase
When the time had arrived, I spent a great deal of time trying to put the make up on with the assistance of Yuuiki (which helped considering that she was experienced and was often awake when I woke up). To my dismay, I was terribly ill-prepared and did not have everything that I needed. I was also incapable of putting the false eyelashes and quit shortly after several frustrated attempts.
One of the things that I was most disappointed about was trying to do the eye make up. I had no skill whatsoever in doing eye make-up (for obvious reasons) and it was a little frustrating. It was even more so considering that I had mono-lids making the process even more difficult. I didn’t want to look like I went to town with the eye make up, but I needed it to be apparent when my eyes aren’t in an angle. Nevertheless, I did what I could and I was (barely) satisfied with how I did them in the end.
Some of you may recall my friends Luke and Kenny from my coverage of PAX Prime. While it did confuse and startle them, they didn’t think too much of it. There were a few jokes but they were extremely harmless and acted more as a positive compliment.
While we were walking to the convention center, I found myself terribly conscious about my appearance. I held my cellphone close to my lips as I didn’t want my mustache shadow to be revealed whatsoever. I was also a bit conscious about how I did the foundation, the eye make up (I could not make a proper shape so I just did what I could). It was rather cool that morning but I was sweating almost profusely.
It was only after I started seeing more people with PAX Prime badges on the streets that I was able to calm down a little more, but it was still an odd experience. Every time I would see my reflection, I would be just as startled as my friends had been earlier that morning.
I won’t go about into explaining every single detail that I went through while cosplaying as Yukiko, I can tell you that there was a lot of positive feedback from those who knew who I was. Some thought it was cute, some stopped to tell me it was cute, and some even would exclaim “Kawaii!!!” as I would pass by.
Due to the environment that I was in, I was comfortable and I’m certain that no one really looked at me with disgust as I would fear in a normal societal environment. There were a few hilarious moments here and there such as one person who stopped me to take a picture with me. He told me that I was his favourite character while he slowly quieted his voice and muttered, “and cause she’s my waifu…” An odd fellow, but I simply laughed. There was another moment where I had to fix my wig so I went to the men’s bathroom to do so. There were several men who had initially come through the doors and exit almost immediately upon seeing me. It was only for a brief moment each time though as they realized that they were not mistaken and they had, in fact, come into the right bathroom. The confused looks I saw were priceless.
Thoughts
I suppose to really understand the other gender, I would have to do something like this in a normal situation where there are not as many open minded people in one area. It was certainly a bit of an eye opener and I developed a whole new huge amount of respect for women who wear heels. Even though Yukiko does not wear high heels for her costume, it was the closest that I could find at the time and I had to make due. I was not going to wear tennis shoes while I cosplayed as her (at least, not all the time!).
Though as I have stated earlier, there’s no real way for me to have proper analysis of how this had impacted me and the differences of experience I had cosplaying as a female than a male.
I did say it would be the only time I would and the only character, but it looks like a few of my friends that are going to Sakura-Con with me are deliberately choosing cosplay themes that would require me to crossplay yet again.
One issue I wanted to address was the reason why I chose Yukiko of all people to cosplay. While her looks and clothing did have an influence, it was because I really did like her story. I felt more connected to her story than I did with most of the other characters in Persona 4.
[spoiler]There were many times where I felt just as imprisoned as she had expressed during the game. I too wanted to go on my own path and I didn’t want to see myself doing the same thing as my father. I never really thought that managing gasoline stations was something to be admirable about. Thus I pursued art in Graphic Design.
However as it turns out, my mind doesn’t really work in the way of an artist and I am exceptionally terrible at drawing to begin with. I have far too logical of a mind to really be able to pursue such a vague field. As I started to work more, I really began to understand and appreciate the business my father did much like Yukiko did. That is why I really liked her story and I felt more connected to this character which influenced my decision even further.[/spoiler]
That concludes my thoughts in regards to crossplaying. I may do more in the future, but I’m not entirely too sure if I will to begin with. As always, thank you for reading and I shall continue to provide content for you readers~
Honestly speaking, whenever you do something girly, it bothers me to no end. But you as Yukiko is faaaaar better than you as Kirito! Maybe you’d want it to be the other way around. I think you did really well, and I’m actually sad I didn’t get to see this in person!
I’m really curious about the make-up part, though. I do wish you’d documented that in more detail~
I always thought you loved it when I would do girly things!!
Jokes aside, I find it interesting that you found my Yukiko cosplay better than my Kirito one. I can never understand what goes through that mind of yours. Too difficult to discern and comprehend. In any case, thank you~
Make up was honestly simple. Powder Foundation > Liquid Foundation > more Powder Foundation > Eye Liner > Done. There… really isn’t much to it ahaha.
I think you pulled off Yukiko really well, and trust me I’ve seen A LOT of male to female crossplays from the amount of events I’ve been to lol. As for the makeup part, practice makes perfect! Even male characters with makeup, you’re gonna be doing a lot better ;D
Like Dania, I’m sad I didn’t get to see this in person :c
You know, when I was going to go as Kirito on Saturday, I had intended to put some foundation on. In the end, I decided not to as I didn’t really feel like even looking at make-up when I had spent almost more than an hour just messing with it ahaha. But thanks!
Hey Balance! I only saw this post now because it was on a Sunday (I rarely check twitter on weekends.)
Just wanted to say that this post really reminded of the first couple of times I went out into public doing crossplay. A lot of your experiences you mentioned are very similar to what I went through (the excessive SWEATING, the reflections in glass.)
When I saw you in the line I thought you were a girl at first until I got really close. I even had to go back to you to ask because I couldn’t hear you very well inside that room! You looked REALLY good as Yukiko! Keep it up! I just love running into other crossplayers. I don’t actually get to see many of them so it’s always refreshing to meet someone new! :D
If you’re at Sakuracon next year, let me know and we can take another photo together! :)
As you may have read, this cosplay was not something that I had intentionally went out to do myself. It was due to the suggestion of my friends that I eventually came to this. It was not as though I had started this off as some form of research or a way to find myself. I don’t mean to suggest that I think negatively to those who crossdress/crossplay as… I myself have already done so (for three days in fact!).
I suppose what I am trying to point out is that I had no real intentions of continuing this trend. My friends who had originally suggested this are already trying to ensnare me into “group” cosplays which involve me dressing up as my main character (which both happen to appear very feminine). So perhaps my future cosplay ideas will… become more broad due to this. “The flood gates have now been opened.”
In any case, I find it rather odd (however not in any negative connotation) to be in a situation where my cosplay is regarded with such high positive reactions. It should have been expected I guess, but it was still rather startling. It can’t be said for anything outside of places such as conventions, however nevertheless, it was an interesting experience.
As far as my reactions in regards to my crossplay: I don’t think I’ll be able to actively suppress those feelings or feel 100% comfortable with it. After all, it’s not something that I plan to do a lot. Who knows though; I may change up how I approach cosplay these days. I am thankful, however, for your input in this topic. It puts me at great relief to know that my efforts were not wasted on the cosplay. After all, that was another reason why I felt so nervous: “Is my cosplay convincing enough? Do I look good enough?”
I will definitely attend Sakura-Con next year. The tickets were pre-ordered long time ago ahaha. We’ll see as to what I decide to wear during Sakura-Con. Yukiko may make her come back or she may remain in the closet. We shall see.
Thanks for taking the time to comment on my post!