A long time ago, I posted a picture of myself cosplaying as a character from Sword Art Online on Deviant Art. A friend who I came to know as “Camel” commented saying that I looked more like a side character than an actual protagonist.
When I first read that comment, I was upset and thought that was a really rude thing to say. However now when I look back on what she said, I’m not sure if Camel was somehow able to accurately anticipate the kind of role I’d see myself in or if she was just saying something dumb (it wouldn’t be the first time).
I don’t think there’s ever a person who woke up deciding to be a “Luigi” in their own life story as opposed to being the main protagonist, “Mario.” For the longest time, I was the same exact way. The lens I viewed my life always had me just like every single main character in any story. As I grow older and gain more perspective, I’ve come to realize the lens I was wearing was a little blurry. Now that I’ve wiped the lens a bit, I can see a bit more clearly now that I might not be the main protagonist I would have thought myself to be.
It should come to no surprise to anyone that’s known me long enough that I always speak highly of my friend, Nightmaren. Although it may sound biased, I think Nightmaren really has everything you’d need in order to be the main character of a story: intelligent, witty, and a fantastic leader. The success they’ve had in their life should highlight the kind of personality they have and how they were able to achieve heights not many others would have been able to.
Then there’s me, the dumb, comic-relief side character that has a presence in the story, but not the main focus. I’m not bottom of the barrel dumb, but much like the “best friend” character trope you tend to find in anime and video games, there’s a lot of room for me to grow in.
Nightmaren was actually the one who gave me the perspective when they said I was much like Yousuke from Persona 4. Yousuke is one of the first characters you become friends with in Persona 4 who inevitably becomes your best partner. Although Yousuke has a lot of faults within his personality, he does grow to become a respectable person later in the game. Still, like with camel’s comment about me being a secondary character, I wasn’t too happy to be compared to someone whose personality I thought was lacking. Also just like with camel’s comment, the more I thought about it, the more I found myself agreeing with the sentiment. I really am like Yousuke.
The realization of being more like a secondary character, like Yousuke, I became a lot more self aware of myself. I started to really dislike myself. Despite the outward appearance I put on for many people I’ve come to know, I am very insecure about myself. It’s because there have been many times I’ve disappointed my friends and have actually really hurt some of them too. For someone like me who criticized so many characters in media that were dumb, inconsiderate, and unreliable to end up doing the same thing as they did to the main protagonist just made me realize how much of a hypocrite I am.
Processing a lot of this came in the form of self-pity and hating myself. I would be lying if I said I don’t do that anymore. Thankfully I don’t do that as much anymore. The point though, is that I would always come to the same conclusion: the ball is in your court. If you hate what you are, then do something about it.
Somewhere along the journey, I ended up embracing being the “secondary” character. Being someone’s Yousuke, so to speak. However instead of being the worst parts of those characters, I tried to be the best parts of who they were. Which is consequently why they always had a presence in all the main protagonists’ life: they’re an unforgettable bond that will always support whomever they consider a friend.
That was my conclusion when faced with being called a secondary character or Yousuke: not only would I embrace it, I would become the best. It has always been in my personality to be as supportive as I can to those who I can sincerely call a friend. The way I do so is definitely lacking, but I still strive to become someone that become a pillar of support for my friends.
So thank you, everyone, who are still friends with me. I know I’m not the greatest or maybe I’m hardly even a friend, but I truly and sincerely cherish every one of you.
Hey everyone! Hope your week has been good so far. Mine has been rather mundane for the most part. I should still try to at least write something that might be engaging. I know I haven’t actually been doing that at all for the past few weeks so I hope this does the trick. There are a few other topics I’d like to write about and I’ll do what I can to put in more effort to that than what I wrote just now.
Anyway, what has everyone else been doing so far? I have been working on streaming a bit more and might seriously consider streaming more often as well. It’s become something that I enjoy working on while I’m not doing QA work. There’s only so much I can do at home and only so many times I can take pictures of nendoroids in the same setting. Can’t really go out and do photoshoots right now due to how cold it is.
Although not much has happened, I think the story of how I got my Elgato Wave 1 microphone yesterday would be fun to write about! I also went to 99 Ranch! For those who don’t know, 99 Ranch is a Taiwanese-American grocery store I discovered in Texas. I always thought it was just some ranch/stable related store until Nightmaren told me it was an Asian grocery store. Imagine my surprise when I found out there were two locations about 30 minutes away from where I live! It wasn’t like the most eye opening experience, but it was still a fun excursion to help escape the banal routine I do at home.
Well, that’s all for now, and I’ll see you all next week! Here are some pictures while we’re at it!
